Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Bitter sweet

I have been thinking a lot about Taylor and how fast he is growing. It really got me thinking about the time I spend at work and the time we are away from each other.

I then decided to change my schedule to work evenings so that I can spend all day long with Taylor. I am so happy for this change. I feel that I can really spend some time with him before he starts going to school. I feel so lucky to be able to have the opportunity to do this.

I am going to work 4-9 pretty much everyday. And add some Saturdays so that when I am at work, Taylor gets to be with his daddy. (Which he REALLY enjoys)

I love waking up in the morning and seeing his adorable face. The fact that I do not have to rush and get ready for work and leave him.....is amazing. I can bring him breakfast in bed and we can do extremely fun activities everyday!

I think that when I stayed home with him before for 17 months was very different. In a way I was still very young and I didn't get to REALLY appreciate it as much as I can now. I really do understand why children should not have children. Now, I am grateful because I am still young and I can really enjoy his company, run around and grow with him.

The Bitter part is the part that I will not be able to spend as much time with Scott. I mean I can still see him at night and on the weekends after work. The thing that I slack usually though is the housework.....dishes, laundry, vacuuming etc. I think that I used to come home sooo tired that I couldn't keep the house up but now It has been night and day. I feel like I have the energy to clean and keep my house well maintained and still have the time to have a good time with Taylor. I'm sure that in time Scott will appreciate it as well.

I had such a hard week last week. Anything that you can think of bad..happened. I am so glad that this is a new week. But no matter how tough my days are...all i have to do is look at Taylor and he reminds of me of why I must not be discouraged. <3

Friday, May 14, 2010


Sometimes I get so sad...

When I moved, I gave my dog away. And it makes me sooo sad. I miss him terribly. I have not seen him since November 2009.

I have no idea what has happend because his new owner won't send me any pictures (as was promised), hasn't registered him with her town, (as also was promsied) claims she moved far away and her camera is broken, ....In reality I'm sure that she sold him. (she told me i could come visit him whenever I wanted! Until i asked her...then she made up excuses)

I have dreams about him constantly. I Wish I could find out how he is doing, what he is doing. I imagine this is a glimpse of what people go through when they put their children up for adoption.

I was stuck between a rock and a hardplace though,....my mom didn't want to keep him (she already had a big dog to take care of with no time) and I wasn't allowed to bring him to our new place. Now I get people that say "I would've taken him!". But you see...Prince was not the best dog. To me he was becuase I loved him so much BUT he was not house trained and he had a serious anxiety/barking problem.

I want him back so bad. I know it is not possible but I do. I am so regretful. This subject is so touchy for me..

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Taylor is the biggest help ever. His opening question at every start of each new task is "momma can I help you?" So while I was washing dishes I said what the heck! Why not..."Why don't you wash cookie monster while mommy washes dishes next to you?"
He is so much fun and helpful! EXCEPT when hes been in his "ninja turtle moods". In that case he wants to fight everyone and anyone in front of him. I hope it's just a phase....and he hasn't inherited my not so calm attitude! haha
Yesterday was Wednesday and Wednesdays are our favorite days because I have off of work and he hang out together. I wish everyday was Wednesday. .. I'll write later but it's off to work tata

Friday, May 7, 2010

I'm back!

I am!

Sometimes I get so wrapped up in life, I just do not know when to find time to update. But it is important to me so hopefully I will be able to fit blogging in somehow into my schedule.

Taylor is now 2 1/2 years old! I cannot believe the last time I wrote he was not even 1 yet!

Alot has happend so lets try and think what is different.

1. Taylor is growing into such an intelligent but yet sassy young boy.

2. I moved! Just down the street from Mom. (Which i like)

3. I went back to work in March 2009. Which is great, yet challenging to be away from my love bug.

4. I am engaged! (Which doesn't change much but it will get my sisters off my back =)

5. I have yet to go back to school since 2 semesters ago. (Which completely dissapoints me)

I think thats really it to be honest. How sad...Time doesn't change MUCH.

I'm excited to start blogging again! Are you??